Managing Conflicts at Work Place

There can  be various kinds of conflicts at your work place and we can categorize them mainly as below.

1. Disagreements on turf

2. Disagreements over policy

3. conflicts based on personality and style

Naturally, we try to deal with the conflicts in following ways.

1. Try to avoid the conflict

2. Wait till the conflict go away

3. Try to change the topic related to the conflict.

4. Becomes aggressive, frightened, emotional

5. Blame someone

But the main issue is all of these methods of dealing with conflicts actually gives you no solution so they are called non productive responses. Due to this it is important to learn conflict resolution skills main two of them are explained below.

1. Active listening

This is a very good and effective skill to conflict resolution as it allows you to show that you understands others feelings. In active listening you have to restate in your words what other person said. Active listening is very important to develop interpersonal skills as you can verify what you have understood is correct and also you can show that you are interested and concerned about others opinions.

2. Conflict De-escalation

First should think about the actions for De-escalation.  

1. soften your tone.

2. Take breaks to cool down your self and others.

3. Should avoid name callings and put downs.

4. Should acknowledge others opinions.

In this way it is possible to resolve the conflicts at work place by following these two main conflict resolution skills.

Win Win Approach - A conflict resolution skill

This approach is all about a conflict resolution skill in which the conflict is changed from resistance to co-operation. Simply thinking as partners rather than opponents. This great shift of attitude changes the whole communication structure. 

If one person can use the joint problem solving method continuously, it can make a difference. It is usually unaware by the people in conflict the way they argue and find themselves with rash reactions in certain conditions until they give the attention. 

Normally in a challenging environment, we feel separateness from other around us and get the feeling of either you or me where if one is correct the other one is definitely wrong. This makes it difficult for us to know the best method to apply.

One of the win win trick is to change the situation by discussing the primary needs rather than finding solutions. Giving concentration to each person's needs leads to build a solution that fulfills the needs of all involved. 

Strategies involved in win win approach

1. Address Primary needs

2. Recognize the differences of others

3. openness to adapt to others positions with shared attitudes

4. Attack the problem accept people 

This is an ethical approach. Therefore it has achieved a great success as it actually WORKS.

Conflict Types

We can evaluate a conflict on the basis of five categories as discussed below.

• Relationship Conflicts-  These conflicts arise because of the presence of strong negative emotions, mis perceptions or stereotypes, poor communication or mis communication or repetitive negative behaviors. Relationship problems often fuel conflict and lead to an escalating spiral of destructive conflict unnecessarily. 
• Data conflicts- This conflict occur when people lack the information necessary to make informed decisions, disagreements on the relevant data, interpret information differently. Some data conflicts may be unnecessary because they are caused by poor communication between people in conflict.
• Conflict of interest- The are caused by competition on perceived needs incompatible. Conflicts of interest result when one or more of the parties believes that to meet their needs and interests, an opponent's interests must be scarified. 
• Structural conflicts- These are caused by external forces. Limited physical resources or authority, geographic constraints, time organizational changes can make structural conflicts seem like a crisis.

Conflict styles and their consequences

Conflicts are often best understood by examining the consequences of various behaviors in moments in time. These behaviors are classified according to the benefit of conflict styles. Each style is designed to meet their needs in dispute, but may affect other people in different ways.

• The Contest is the style in which someones own needs are being promoted to the needs of others. It relies on an aggressive style of communication, lack of consideration for future relations, and the exercise of coercive measures. Those who use the competitive style tend to seek control of the discussion in the text basic rules. That fear the loss of control will result in solutions that do not meet their needs. Competition often leads to responses that increase the threat level.
• Adaption, also known as smoothing, is the antithesis of competition. People who use this style of action to meet their needs other people, trying to be diplomatic. They tend to leave the group must submerge their own, which never can say that the behavior of the compound is considered the most important. 
• Avoid common response to the negative perception of the conflict. Like cancer, which could be cured if treated early, the conflict grows and spreads until it kills the relationship. Since the needs and concerns are unspoken, people are often confused, wondering what had happened in the relationship.
• Collaborator is to combine the individual needs and goals towards a common goal. Often called "win-win, problem solving, communication requires cooperation and collaboration assertive in order to achieve a better solution than any individual could achieve alone. It offers the possibility of consensus, the need for integration and the potential to exceed". 

Avoid conflicts by Embracing them

Conflict is some thing that causes a lot of stress, and it occurs on many scales. It can range from small conflicts between members of family or friends to large conflicts between countries. Regardless of its scale, conflict is a source of stress which can sometimes be deadly.

Therefore it i really important to avoid conflicts in your life, and the best way to avoid conflicts is expect and embrace it. Let us find how to avoid conflicts by embracing it. It is first important to understand that you can not really avoid conflicts with other people. As long as you work and live with others you should expect to have conflicts and disagreements. There are no two people in this world that see eye-to-eye on everything and this will naturally leads to conflicts. Bu using the expression "Embrace conflict", mans that avoiding conflicts by expecting and dealing with them.

Normally passive people do not follow this.They try everything in their power to avoid conflict, but this only creates feelings of tension, resentment and stress within them, and once they finally do attempt to resolve it, it will often come in the form of them exploding or being overly aggressive. This of course is counter productive. An aggressive person will embrace conflict by going out looking for it, which is equally bad. The best way to avoid conflict is to expect it and embrace it, but you do not want to go looking to trouble.

It is always important to avoid hitting your listener with too much information at once. Some people define assertiveness as hitting their listeners with so much information and facts that they are compelled to see  things form their point of view. While this form of behavior may sound logical at first, but it actually is not.

The only time that people would accept what you are saying is once they are interested in accepting it. Even when it appears that people accept your bull dozing, they will generally do it to agree with you, and then will avoid you or your recommendations once they get the chance.

It is also best to avoid arguing with  people.  An assertive person is someone who can often get their point across without a lot of bickering. Remember there is no such thing as "winning an argument". Even when it appears that you have won, you will typically only increase feelings of resentments in the person you are arguing with, and this is crucially important.

When you convince someone of something, and it is against their will, they will still maintain the same opinion. It is always important to make people accept an idea by making it something they are attracted to.

Bickering with people achieves nothing, and will often cause far more harm than good. It is also important to make use of patience while avoiding bumping heads with people. You do not want to be too eager, as it is important to move towards your objective carefully.

You also do not want to find collide with the person you are trying to work with. You should be wise enough to avoid sore spots in the people you deal with, as this could be costly to your relationship.

If you can combine positive aspects of multiple people in order to come up with something that is valuable and important. This will definitely give you a powerful edge.

Skills required to solve problems related to relationship

Don't let your relationships to ruin your life. Learn from your problems and use them to strengthen a love relationship. According to research. it is possible to have a troubled relationship if your parents too had a bad relationship with each other. We are born and brought up in a society where there is no formal education for solving relationships problems. It is up to us to keep a relationship in good condition. Therefore the ability to solve any conflicts can be the key that makes a relationship works well.

Some of the skills needed to make a relationship work

Communication-

It is vital to communicate with one another, even if you have had a fight. The lack of communication may lead to serious problems and misunderstandings. 

Attitude- 

Do not show indifference towards your partner's behavior. An indifference attitude can  really break a relationship that ultimately ends in a divorce. For Example, If you have had a horrible fight and your partner is all in tears make the effort to pacify her, or show in some subtle way that you too are feeling terrible about the brawl. Do not be indifferent, even though it is the easiest way to get out of a sticky situation.

Share-

For all the men, do not let the male ego stop you from doing household chores. If your partner is sharing your financial responsibilities, it is your duty to contribute to domestic tasks. Sharing both your duty and love will work wonders for improving your relationship.

Control-

Have a control over your feelings, Don't jump the wall whenever you feel like it. Let the moment of anger pass. Never lash out at your partner in public places, as such incidents will always bear an ugly mark on your relationship all throughout in your life. Learn to control your anger and aggression.

Be Honest-

Don't Lie unnecessarily, that will take away the trust from a relationship. And such a relationship usually meets a sorry end.

Finally, Do not let all the problems get to your head. Life is a process of dealing with trials and tribulations. You have to gain control over your life. Approach any problem as a team and see the end of it. In fact see them as an opportunity to bind together. Use successful problem solving skills to drive away challenging situations. That will keep your love life really alive and resonating with love, care, trust and mutual respect.  

The Seven Deadly Sins of a Relationship

  1  Resentment. 

This is a poison that starts as something small (”He didn’t get a new roll of toilet paper” or “She doesn’t wash her dishes after she eats”) and builds up into something big. Resentment is dangerous because it often flies under our radar, so that we don’t even notice we have the resentment, and our partner doesn’t realize that there’s anything wrong. If you ever notice yourself having resentment, you need to address this immediately, before it gets worse. Cut it off while it’s small. There are two good ways to deal with resentment: 1) breathe, and just let it go — accept your partner for who she/he is, faults and all; none of us is perfect; or 2) talk to your partner about it if you cannot accept it, and try to come up with a solution that works for both of you (not just for you); try to talk to them in a non-confrontational way, but in a way that expresses how you feel without being accusatory.

2  Jealousy.

It’s hard to control jealousy if you feel it, I know. It seems to happen by itself, out of our control, unbidden and unwanted. However, jealousy, like resentment, is relationship poison. A little jealousy is fine, but when it gets to a certain level it turns into a need to control your partner, and turns into unnecessary fights, and makes both parties unhappy. If you have problems with jealousy (like I once did), instead of trying to control them it’s important that you examine and deal with the root issue, which is usually insecurity. That insecurity might be tied to your childhood (abandonment by a parent, for example), in a past relationship where you got hurt, or in an incident or incidents in the past of your current relationship.

3 Unrealistic expectations.

 Often we have an idea of what our partner should be like. We might expect them to clean up after themselves, to be considerate, to always think of us first, to surprise us, to support us, to always have a smile, to work hard and not be lazy. Not necessarily these expectations, but almost always we have expectations of our partner. Having some expectations is fine — we should expect our partner to be faithful, for example. But sometimes, without realizing it ourselves, we have expectations that are too high to meet. Our partner isn’t perfect — no one is. We can’t expect them to be cheerful and loving every minute of the day — everyone has their moods. We can’t expect them to always think of us, as they will obviously think of themselves or others sometimes too. We can’t expect them to be exactly as we are, as everyone is different. High expectations lead to disappointment and frustration, especially if we do not communicate these expectations. How can we expect our partner to meet these expectations if they don’t know about them? The remedy is to lower your expectations — allow your partner to be himself/herself, and accept and love them for that. What basic expectations we do have, we must communicate clearly.

4 Not making time.

 This is a problem with couples who have kids, but also with other couples who get caught up in work or hobbies or friends and family or other passions. Couples who don’t spend time alone together will drift apart. And while spending time together when you’re with the kids or other friends and family is a good thing, it’s important that you have time alone together. Can’t find time with all the things you have going on — work and kids and all the other stuff? Make time. Seriously — make the time. It can be done. I do it — I just make sure that this time with my wife is a priority, and I’ll drop just about anything else to make the time. Get a babysitter, drop a couple commitments, put off work for a day, and go on a date. It doesn’t have to be an expensive date — some time in nature, or exercising together, or watching a DVD and having a home-cooked dinner, are all good options. And when you’re together, make an effort to connect, not just be together.

 5 Lack of communication.

 This sin affects all the others on this list — it’s been said many times before, but it’s true: good communication is the cornerstone of a good relationship. If you have resentment, you must talk it out rather than let the resentment grow. If you are jealous, you must communicate in an open and honest manner to address your insecurities. If you have expectations of your partner, you must communicate them. If there are any problems whatsoever, you must communicate them and work them out. Communication doesn’t just mean talking or arguing — good communication is honest without being attacking or blaming. Communicate your feelings — being hurt, frustrated, sorry, scared, sad, happy — rather than criticizing. Communicate a desire to work out a solution that works for you both, a compromise, rather than a need for the other person to change. And communicate more than just problems — communicate the good things too (see below for more).

 6   Not showing gratitude. 

Sometimes there are no real problems in a relationship, such as resentment or jealousy or unrealistic expectations — but there is also no expression of the good things about your partner either. This lack of gratitude and appreciation is just as bad as the problems, because without it your partner will feel like he or she is being taken for granted. Every person wants to be appreciated for all they do. And while you might have some problems with what your partner does (see above), you should also realize that your partner does good things too. Does she wash your dishes or cook you something you like? Does he clean up after you or support you in your job? Take the time to say thank you, and give a hug and kiss. This little expression can go a long way.

  7  Lack of affection. Similarly, everything else can be going right, including the expression of gratitude, but if there is no affection among partners then there is serious trouble. In effect, the relationship is drifting towards a platonic status. That might be better than many relationships that have serious problems, but it’s not a good thing. Affection is important –everyone needs some of it, especially from someone we love. Take the time, every single day, to give affection to your partner. Greet her when she comes home from work with a tight hug. Wake him up with a passionate kiss (who cares about morning breath!). Sneak up behind her and kiss her on the neck. Make out in the movie theater like teen-agers. Caress his back and neck while watching TV. Smile at her often.

8 Bonus sin: Stubbornness. 

This wasn’t on my original list but I just thought about it before publishing this post, and had to add it in. Every relationship will have problems and arguments — but it’s important that you learn to work out these problems after cooling down a bit. Unfortunately, many of us are too stubborn to even talk about things. Perhaps we always want to be right. Perhaps we never want to admit that we made a mistake. Perhaps we don’t like to say we’re sorry. Perhaps we don’t like to compromise. I’ve done all of these things — but I’ve learned over the years that this is just childish. When I find myself being stubborn these days, I try to get over this childishness and suck it up and put away my ego and say I’m sorry. Talk about the problem and work it out. Don’t be afraid to be the first one to apologize. Then move past it to better things.

Avoid Devorce by making commitments towards stopping conflicts

The entire family unit will be affected very strongly by constant arguments and conflicts between Husband and wife. So, the time has come to work towards saving your marriage life.

Are you feeling stress, tension or anger because of your marriage is heading towards divorce and you can do nothing about it?. So, you can do some changes to save your marriage.

I would like to share a very good and practical way of ending the conflicts between you and your spouse. This approach helps the couples to find the good left in their relationship and teaches how to look at conflicts in a different view point. This excellent approach is named as 'The Secret of Marriage'. But in order to get the required results from this method, you should be sure of whether you have enough courage and whether you really want to save your relationship.

Below, I have discussed some steps which will direct you in the correct way to rescue your marriage.

1. You Commitment to stay married should be renewed

    Remember the early days and commitments done for each other. Stop thinking f divorce 

    as a solution.

2. Even you do not like try to act lovingly towards your spouse

    This is very hard to do at the beginning, but if you expect your spouse to show love to 

    you you should start it first.

3. Listen to your Partner

    Try to open doors for communication and listen to what your partner is saying. If you act 

    lovingly this would be easy like never before.

4. Start complimenting

    Now its time to stop the complaints but to start compliments. You should be very 

    conscious to express only positive feelings.

5. Be willing to forgive

    As No body is perfect try to forgive than complaining. Do not think that you are 

    always right. Always a fight has two responsible people. One is  who behaved in a way 

    which results in a fight and the other is responsible for the reaction to that behavior also 

    which results in a fight.

6. Have fun together

    Try to enjoy each others company finally get help from Trained marriage counselor.

If you follow these simple but the best steps you will feel the difference.

    

Permanently Erase Emotional Baggage Responsible For Failed Relationships

Do you recognize there failed relationships are invariably the result of old emotional baggage stored in the subconscious mind and associated with negative beliefs/feelings such as: the fear of commitment, fear of intimacy, low self worth, low self confidence, I'm unlovable, I'm inadequate, I'm needy, dependency feelings, shame, jealousy, insecurity, feelings of loneliness, fears of abandonment and/or rejection and so on? Do you know these are generated by subconsciously stored negative memories from your past which must be completely and permanently erased if you ever hope to have a satisfying and healthy relationship with anyone? So how does one do that you ask?

Negative memories of abandonment, rejection, abuse, neglect, failure, and humiliation and so on leave negative emotional imprints in one's personality structure that are nearly impossible to shake. I hold for case heard more than once how an individual has had years of one therapy or another only to feel like little has changed in how they think or feel about themselves.

The conclude for tonight sad situation is that most "therapies" do not and cannot erase the negative memories for one simple reason; the individuals who employ such approaches either believe that memories cannot be permanently erased or that it is not a good idea to do so because it will somehow change the identity of the person they are working with.

This may go unusual to some of you especially if the latter is exactly what you feel you are looking for.

In fact as shown by a new coaching modality, highly-developed a ten ago and experienced by thousands of individuals, debunks the idea that memories cannot be erased and that is unwise to do so. Later mother-of-thousands of case trials this approach has revealed a stunning result which is that the personality formed by those negative memories does not actually represent the truth about who that individual is.

What do I intend by that?

Well it turnstone out that as children we are highly hypnotizable and whenever we are made to go against our inherent nature (i. e. by experiences of neglect, abuse, abandonment, rejection etcetera ) thither is a trend to take on "roles" that will help us to survive those untenable situations. Unfortunately eventually roles remain with us and often become our default way of being long after the negative events have ended.

In the procedure we leave our true authentic nature and accept the default (imposter) role as our identity/personality. Sadly tonight leads one to feel defective, less than, like there is something inherently wrong with them, shameful, like an imposter and so on.

It wish not surprisal you then that when one feels like this their ability to form healthy emotionally intimate relationships will suffer seriously.

The just way to cure this is to erase those negative memories (i. e. the excited baggage) permanently and assistance one remember and re-associate themselves with their true authentic and empowered self.

The coaching procedure I favored to above has shown the ability to do that. To teach More about this process, to request a free e-copy of my book or to request a free introductory 1 hour telephone/Skype consultation kindly visit the web site below.

Breaking The Bondage Of Hatred And Resentment

My Partner Wants Some Space

We frequently learn people talk of trial separations or of needing some space to sort themselves out. Many of us can be pardon for being a little cynical and regarding the words as a euphemism for breaking up gradually. Is it a way of preparing the reason for a very split or could time apart actually help to heal the relationship?

- Time apart can help a couple defuse the irritations and annoyances that have been causing friction between each other. Niggles and tensions can turn in oftenness and importance as they become a vehicle for venting other frustrations. Thither is frequently the fear that being annoyed at something big will be too serious to recover from. Sometimes it can be sensed as easier to be annoyed at something small. A fault provides an chance to realise what the real problems are in the relationship.

- It gives sentence to domesticate their individuality and personality. Across sentence many couples grow to be more and more alike, sharing friends and interests. It can be endearing to part things together but it can also be important to have some time apart, pursuing interests that stimulate each one in turn. There way apiece person develops as an individual as well as a partner within the relationship.

- It can enable apiece individual to recognise whether they are bored or in a rut. If a pair hold been together for a long time they may continue doing what they have always done. It becomes a habit, an machinelike form and routine. Sometimes sentence apart can provide an opportunity to inject some freshness into their lives, remind themselves of interests that they have perhaps forgotten about or lost along the way. Reclaiming boothose dreams and Mideast can revitalise the person and potentially the whole relationship.

- Sometimes one individual is in awe of the other or regards their partner as more needy and so allows that person to dominate them emotionally. Southey may turn silent or subservient out of habit or fear of the consequences. About live have a dread of confrontation. Southey wish agree rather than risk a row or sulking and tension. Later a sentence they may erupt and find the strength to walk away rather than stay and risk discussing their feelings. A fault can furnish the opportunity to raise this situation, change the dynamic in the relationship and become more confident about having their say.

- Across sentence a person may realise that they don't love their partner as they once did. The accuracy is, all relationships vary over time. Passion frequently gets lost amidst children, work stresses, family problems and the detritus of everyday life. Fetching sentence in a busy life to invest love and attention into our special relationship can sometimes be forgotten about and the relationship can start to suffer from neglect. Acknowledging tonight vary of feelings can provide the insights into what is needed for both people to invest more time, attention and affection into their relationship and make it special once again.

All eventually problems can be whelped if there is a willingness on both sides to keep the channels of communication open, communicate honestly with each other, listen to what each other has to say and be respectful and appreciative of each others point of view. Relationship guidance can help to provide the time and place for these discussions to take place in a neutral, supportive environment. It can require a small time to work things out, but love and perseverance often win through.

Breaking The Bondage Of Hatred And Resentment

Thither are about things we find easy to forgive. Once a child wets on us, we can forgive. Once the pup reduces a magazine to confetti, we can forgive. But once other live who "ought to know better" are involved, we have trouble forgiving. And thither is a conclude for this.

Forgiving Hugoesque break our basic nature. The Word vividly tells us there we are selfish because we choose to be selfish. There is why, absolvitory itself is an act of true courage, and it is also an essential part of love. As Southey say, "if we cannot forgive, we cannot love".

It's might-have-been said that there are two major tragedies in this life. The beginning is not accepting Churchyard forgiveness for the hurt we have caused Him. In an instance, 9-11 quotes the result of inhuman act of terrorism. As a result, various live died relentlessly on the busy streets of New York. Though it is difficult to forgive those who have done such act, but if we acknowledge God's forgiveness in our soul for all the small and huge mistakes we committed, we can forgive even those who hurt us the most. Procreation almost 9/11 do not only open our eyes and minds, they also solidify the essence of forgiveness over pride.

The moment major disaster in life is in not forgiving others for the hurt they caused us. If a Friend or a buddy hurt us, let us set ourselves free from the bondage of grudges. Absolvitory a Friend is not a sign of weakness, but it's a sign of acknowledging that humans as we are, we are not perfect.

What is forgiving?

What do we intend once we say, "you are forgiven"? It may be helpful to note first what forgiving is not. Absolvitory is not indifference. Expression "let's simply forget it" is not to deal with the problem. It's ignoring the problem- temporarily.

Forgiving is too not agreeing hit the wrong. About live think saying "I forgive you" really means "what you have done is OK; it wasn't wrong". But there is not the case. Absolvitory just means we are releasing ourselves from the chains of not forgiving. There way we hold no claims whatever over the other person. In other words, we relinquish ourselves occasionally the slavery of bitterness and resentment.

We can just forgive one way; by lease go of our pride. It is congratulate there stands in the way of forgiving. There is why, particularly in sensitive matters when we have been hurt to the core, we cannot forgive without acknowledging imperfections and surrendering pride.